Blog Post Showcase: Angela Tulloch: Grief and Loss Poetry Part 6


Hello everyone, and welcome to Wednesday’s new ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.

In Today’s post, Angela shares another lovely poem about grief, particularly in regard to boundaries and meeting our needs, which is also one of my favourite topics.

Make sure you read part 1, 2 , 3, 4 and 5.


Grief and Boundaries


You might find it difficult to express what you really want to say.  You mind pretend in order to please others.

Here’s a poem to encourage you in your personal and very individual journey with grief and loss.


What I really want


Is for you to stop saying it will be okay.

Things will get better.

At least he is not suffering.

At least she is in a better place.

Time is a healer.


What I really want to do


Is burst out of this bubble of fear and pretence.

Open my window, scream and shout.

I want to be angry.

I want to stay in bed all day.

That’s what I really want to do.


By Angela Tulloch


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Blog Post Showcase: Angela Tulloch: Grief and Loss Poetry Part 5


Hello everyone, and welcome to Wednesday’s new ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.

In Today’s post, Angela shares another lovely poem about grief, particularly in regard to grief and culture.

Make sure you read part 1, 2 , 3, and 4.


Grief and Culture


We all grieve in different ways depending on your culture, religion and experiences.

Here’s a poem to encourage you in your personal and very individual journey with grief and loss.


Who said it should be this way?


Don’t judge me if I don’t wear black

Don’t judge me if I’m not sad

Don’t judge me if for that moment I smile when others cry.

Don’t judge me if I dare to dance again.

Don’t judge me if I dare to sing again.

Don’t judge me if I dare to love again.

Don’t judge me if I dare to live again.


By Angela Tulloch


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: The Cycle of Addiction, written by: Bradley Riddell


Hello everyone, and welcome to Wednesday’s new ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.

In this week’s post, Bradley gives us an in depth look at the cycle of addiction.

In order to understand it, we need to get acquainted by the four parts of this cycle.

Once we’ve done this, we can start the change process, starting with the way we relate to our own thoughts and what to do when the cravings and difficult times arise.

Another important topic that Bradley touches on is instant gratification. We live in a day and age where getting things immediately is king. We have forgotten how to wait for things, but in regards to addiction, this can become even more precarious when trying to stop the cycle.

Bradley also speaks about making the unconscious stuff conscious. Knowing what is in our unconscious will helps us break the cycle.

If you need any help with addictions, get in touch with Bradley through his website here.

I’ll let Bradley tell you a bit more about this topic now in his full post.



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Blog Post Showcase: Maintaining your emotional wellbeing the Shinrin-Yoku way, written by: Kalpna Hirani


Hello everyone, and welcome to Wednesday’s new ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.

In this week’s blog post, Kalpna talks to us about Shinrin-Yoku, which is all about getting out in nature to help us keep mentally healthy.

Throughout the post, Kalpna guides us through the benefits of being outside and how these impact on our neurotransmitters, as their presence or absence also impacts our mental health.

Enjoy!



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Blog Post Showcase: Online Couple Counselling is Not a New Concept, written by: Joanne Mander


Hello everyone, and welcome to Wednesday’s new ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.

In this week’s post, Joanne talks to us about online couples therapy and how the lockdown situation we find ourselves in has made it even more important to learn about the benefits of continuing receiving therapy online.

It is all a learning curve, for both counsellors and clients alike, and I can imagine that working with couples online will require an extra set of skills, which it sounds like Joanne has, so if you’re looking for online couples counselling, do get in touch with her.



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Blog Post Showcase: Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: a “PRN” checklist, read as required, written by: Bradley Riddell


Hello everyone, and welcome to Wednesday’s new ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.

In this week’s post, Bradley gives us a summary of very important points you can use as “mantras” when feeling overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts.

PRN is a medical term which means “use as needed”. I found it helpful that Bradley added that term to his post, as these phrases will come in handy when intrusive thoughts want to take over your life at any particular moment.

I hope you enjoy this post and that these phrases will be helpful to you in times of need.



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Blog Post Showcase: Angela Tulloch: Grief and Loss Poetry Part 4


Hello everyone, and welcome to Wednesday’s new ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.

In Today’s post, Angela shares another lovely poem about grief, particularly in regard to guilt and shame.

Make sure you read part 1, 2 and 3.


Grief and loss


Often people will have expectations of how you should respond to grief, and this can cause you to feel guilt and shame.

Here are some poems to encourage you in your personal and very individual journey with grief and loss.


Expectations


I stand in the shadows feeling no pain

I stand in the shadows expected to cry.

The eyes are upon me willing me to say something! Do something!

React this way or that way, anything, just show a sign.

I stand in the shadows feeling no pain

I stand in the shadows expected to cry.

The eyes are upon me willing me to say something! Do something!

React this way or that way, anything, just show a sign.

I stand in the shadows watching. 

Waiting, will there ever be a right time.

Do I hold onto others grief?

Or do I keep silence in the shadows of my own?


By Angela Tulloch


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Blog Post Showcase: Angela Tulloch: Grief and Loss Poetry (Part 3)


Hello everyone, and welcome to Wednesday’s new ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.

In Today’s post, Angela speaks to us about Grief in the form of 3 lovely poems.

Make sure you check out Parts 1 and 2 as she gives us more insight into what grief and loss looks like, and gives some solace into different aspects of grief we might be struggling with, like “how long should we be grieving for”, and other important questions (an advance hint – there’s no set time for grief, it’s an ongoing process that changes as time goes by).

I’ve also written some blog posts on grief if you want to read those here.


The grief cake



1 Bucket of tears
1 Bucket of pain
and a bucket of regret

Then add

1 Bucket of pity
1 Bucket of denial
1 Bucket of shock
1 Bucket of guilt

Mix together in a large bowel of memories.
Empty in a tin of strength.
Bake in a hot oven of forgiveness
and decorate with a thick coating of love.


It still hurts


It still hurts to look at your grave.

It still hurts to put flowers in your place

It still hurts to wish you happy birthday

It still hurts to not hearing your voice on the telephone.

It still hurts.


Sweet peace


I am reassured to know you are somewhere safe

Safe you are in heaven

You are not alone, and it takes away the pain

Your last words were, we will meet again

Yes, I believe we will meet again.


Grief bus station


Grief got on at grief bus station in 2010 and again in 2012.


The journey was long and tiring.

I stopped at Shock Station in disbelief. 

I quickly arrived at denial stop where I was disoriented.

I got off for a while, then caught the number 9 bus to Pain Street. 

There the driver picked up weepy-in an uncontrollable state.


Weepy got off for a rest at I Cannot Bear It Avenue,

 before arriving at Reality Gardens.


Pain got on and sat next to a group of memories.

They chatted for a while and dared to smile. 

Just then guilt got on with blame. 

They talked about neglect,

short time spend and how things could have been.


When the grief bus arrived at the station,

grief was met by a glimmer of Hope holding the sign ‘Your journey starts here’


Need help working through a recent bereavement?

Why not give Angela a call or send her a message via this page.


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: Angela Tulloch: Grief and Loss Poetry Part 2


Hello everyone, and welcome to Wednesday’s new ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.

In Today’s post, Angela speaks to us about Grief, make sure you read part 1, in which Angela gave us a beautiful poem she wrote.

Part 3 will be out on Monday 13th July, which will be another few beautiful poems.


Grief and loss


Grief is something that we all will experience at some point in our life. 

Grief does not discriminate, and sometimes takes us unawares.

Some common symptoms to loss may include:

  • Shock and numbness, overwhelming sadness, crying, tiredness or exhaustion. 
  • You might express anger towards the person you have lost or the reason for your loss.
  • You might feel guilty about feeling angry, guilty about something you might have said during a disagreement, or not said, or not been able to stop your loved one from dying. 
  • You might have not been present when your loved one died.
  • You might feel guilty for not feeling anything at all. You might feel guilty for not crying or being sad.

These feelings may not be there all the time and may come in waves unexpectedly.



How do I grieve my loved ones?

There is no right or wrong way to grieve a loss.  We all cope differently.  How you grieve will depend on your personality, your faith, life experiences and how significant the loss was to you.  There is no time limit placed on grief.


Is there a time limit on how long I should grieve?


Healing from grief will take place over time, but it is a process that should not be rushed.  There is no time limit or fixed end when one should stop feeling the pain. 

 There may be days when you feel better and then a sudden memory is triggered by something someone said, a song, a smell or a visit to a memorable place, or you might just be deep in your thoughts.

Take grief at your own pace, be patient and don’t rush, everyone is different. 

 For some people it may be weeks or months, for others it is years. Sometimes you might feel guilty for not grieving your loss for the period expected by others. Sometimes you might feel guilty for feeling a little happier than the day before.

People may say words or comment, some might be unexpected or even hurt.  Things like;



Be strong


The loss of a loved one is an emotional time of deep pain. It often brings reflection of how things could have been. The plan of retirement or grandchildren, of a future together. What you are feeling is normal. You do not need to pretend or keep in your emotions.  Being able to show your true feelings will help you to cope better.



You have not cried since the death?


This does not mean you do not feel the pain deep inside, that keeps you awake late at night.  Yes, crying is a normal response to sadness, but it is not the only way to express sadness.



Are you still grieving after all these years?


There is no specific time on how long one should grieve.  How long it takes will depend on each person. There is a healing process taking place.


It has not been that long, and he is moved on already?


This is often difficult for those left behind, and you might feel guilty.  Moving on does not mean you have forgotten the person you love.  The memories will always be there but may not be as frequent.  There will always be an empty space in your life, but you will have learned ways to cope.  You have come to a place of acceptance, and able to build a life around your loss.

By Angela Tulloch

References: HelpGuide.org 


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: Angela Tulloch: Grief and Loss Poetry


Hello everyone, and welcome to Wednesday’s new ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.

In Today’s post, Angela speaks to us about Grief in the form of a poem. There are two more blogs to come after this one, so keep an eye out and make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss them. They’re really good!


Grief and loss

The journey without an end.


Is what I’m feeling normal?


This emotional suffering I am feeling is overwhelming. 

 I am told it is a natural response to loss. 

My emotions come and go, like waves on a rough sea.   

Sometimes together, sometimes on their own. 

Shock, anger, disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness.

They appear suddenly.

Sometimes they stay awhile.

I struggle to get the thoughts out of my head.


They say it is a normal reaction to loss.


 My health and sleep are often disturbed.

 Sometimes I struggle to fall asleep

And struggle to get out of bed.

My appetite is not what it used to be.


They say it is a normal reaction to loss.


I do not know how I am really supposed to feel,

but it does not feel normal to me. 

I have lost that sparkle,

I do not smile or laugh anymore,

and people are noticing. 


They say it is a normal reaction to loss.


I sometimes lose my patience over the smallest of things,

and rather be on my own. 

My body feels weak, my head like it does not belong.

I want to scream, but I dare not in case I cannot stop. 


They say it is a normal reaction to loss.


I noticed couples, I noticed mothers and fathers,

Sisters and brothers, children, babies and grandparents. 

I noticed people are happy and having fun.  The smallest of things seems to magnify my loss.


They say it is a normal reaction to loss.


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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