Quick relationship check – Blog Post Showcase by Julia Greer

Hi all, and welcome to this week’s blog post showcase, written and created by one of my Practical Steps to Blogging and the Images and Video Experiential Workshops, ran with Onlinevents.

In this occasion, Julia Greer is inviting us to do a quick relationship check-up.

I hope these insights will help you on your relationship journey and what you need to decide – it’s not easy but sometimes necessary.

The way that Julia has set up her blog post is very nice, as she’s used Canva, which we learned in one of the workshops I offer.

Let us know what you think either in the comments to this post, or directly via Julia’s website.

Enjoy!



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Be the change you want to see, by Helen Cruthers (Collaboration/Blog Post Showcase)

Hi and welcome to today’s blog post.

As some of my Practical Steps to Blogging workshop attendees have asked me to publish their blogs in full on my blog post, I thought I’d do what I do with my guest posts and share them as such – guest posts!

I’ll be adding links to Helen’s lovely website throughout so you can get in touch with her, and follow her blog directly from her website as well!

I hope you enjoy this blog post she’s beautifully created in Canva, using the skills she learned in my workshop, Practical steps to Canva and Lumen5!




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Labels of Love, by Helen Cruthers (Collaboration/Blog Post Showcase)

Hi and welcome to today’s blog post.

As some of my Practical Steps to Blogging workshop attendees have asked me to publish their blogs in full on my blog post, I thought I’d do what I do with my guest posts and share them as such – guest posts!

I’ll be adding links to Helen’s lovely website throughout so you can get in touch with her, and follow her blog directly from her website as well!

I hope you enjoy this blog post she’s written, I know I have!


‘to diagnose or not to diagnose – that is the question’


When I became aware that Shula was ‘different’ my instinct was to ask for professionals to assess and to explore.

This could be because I am from a medical background, or because she was not terribly happy much of the time, and definitely because I felt out of my depth as a parent having felt pretty competent with my first two.

helenpinkcrop.jpg

I often felt chastened by what I perceived as others’ more unconditional acceptance of her as a being. Her lovely nursery didn’t raise any issues (despite her struggle with wearing clothes and interacting with peers) and were great at supporting her being her.

Her dad was worried that a diagnosis would limit her – that she would be seen as ‘autism first’, ‘Shula second’.

There was also a sense that I could be ‘making a mountain out of a molehill’ -especially as some of her challenges were more subtle, and she rarely presented as ‘typically autistic’.

And yet my instinct parenting her closely as a full-time mum – backed up by my professional experience of working with families – eventually led us to seeking assessment. 

My educated guess was that she was on the autistic spectrum, and my fear was that I’d be letting her down if I didn’t explore that option – even if only to rule it out.

My view was that if I was wrong then there would be no harm done and I would be able to adjust my perceptions accordingly (after perhaps eating a bit of humble pie).

I so wanted to be the mum she needed me to be. If she had a neurodevelopmental difference, I wanted to know.

If she didn’t – I would improve my parenting according to how she presented as an individual, without so much wondering about:

is it? isn’t it?… something seems amiss…but maybe I’m just a judgy bad mum who isn’t unconditionally accepting her child’.

Too much ‘beating myself up’ or ‘ruminating’ like this isn’t good for anyone -and could definitely undermine my capacity to enjoy her to the full or make the best of my strengths as a parent.

She was diagnosed with ‘childhood autism’, later changed to ‘Asperger’s Syndrome’ which now officially doesn’t exist as a diagnosis any more. This can be another reason for resisting ‘labelling’ a child – the field is constantly evolving and changing – and how much do ‘experts’ really know anyway?

For me – and I believe for Shula – it was a gamechanger.

As well as shock, fear, and grief, I felt that I had ‘seen’ her and had started my journey of understanding her better.

I read books, went on courses, and adapted my expectations and parenting according to my developing knowledge and skillset.

I became more able to see her amazing strengths and more able to accept the parenting challenges she presented to me.

I felt ‘lighter’ and brought more humour to our interactions.

I felt less inadequate.

I became more compassionate to her and to myself.

I learned so much from her and I learned more about myself, about neurotypical assumptions, and about diversity.

Supporting parents to understand, support and enjoy their children is a key part of my work and my passion.

I believe the right diagnosis can be incredibly helpful in this process.

It may be too obvious to state that the wrong diagnosis is not helpful.


Just because a child is different, challenging, or not what we expected doesn’t mean there is ‘something wrong’ or they have a diagnosable condition.


Looking at ourselves as parents is key – we need to work hard to be receptive to our children’s individuality, challenge our assumptions, and be willing to adapt our relating according to their needs.

Many of the children I work with have complex developmental trauma, and the autistic-type or adhd-type traits they present with can be more ‘nurture’ than ‘nature’.

Skilful exploration is needed to see if assessment for a comorbid neurodevelopmental condition would be helpful or not.

When children do have a condition such as autism or adhd, as we currently understand them, my belief and experience is that assessment and subsequent diagnosis can be incredibly helpful.

A label can have many benefits including:

  • signposting better ways to meet the child’s needs
  • being a ‘shortcut’ communication to others – we should all be thoughtful and kind to everybody – but sometimes it helps us to be accepting if we understand a little of why someone might be struggling
  • helping a child and their family access crucial services – such as additional support at school
  • supporting the individual to understand themselves in a more compassionate way – ‘oh…I have Asperger’s – that’s why some things are so hard for me – I’m not just wrong’  and help them ‘voice’ their needs to others
  • introducing us to communities of other families who are having some similar experiences and we can feel less alone and more connected
  • putting us in touch with professionals who can offer crucial input advice and advocacy
  • meaning that a child gets appropriate support and intervention earlier rather than later which research shows leads to more positive outcomes
  • being a positive part of a young person’s identity

My advice, therefore, would be – keep an open mind.

I firmly believe that I am closer to Shula, enjoy her more, support her better, have more fun with her, and respect her difference more than if we hadn’t sought diagnosis.

At 15, I am so proud of who she is as a young person.

This is enhanced by my strong understanding of how hard life can be for her sometimes.


I asked Shula to read this blog and comment –  

 Love it! I think it’s amazing Mum.

I asked for her opinion on having a diagnosis/label:

‘Being diagnosed with autism has definitely helped me a lot, if it wasn’t for my amazing mother my life would be very very different and a lot worse.’

Well I wasn’t expecting quite such glowing praise but am impressed by the social skills and very touched by the sentiment!


I recently attended my first Cork Autism Conference – on Zoom.

In a future post I will be reflecting on developments in the field of autism and my new learnings.


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Blog Post Showcase: Who is Chloe Foster? A series.


Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.


In today’s post, I’m sharing Chloe Foster’s series entitled “Who am I?” where she tells us about her journey before becoming a counsellor, what led her to train and open her practice in 2016.

You can find my story in my about me and how I work pages.

I hope you enjoy Chloe’s mini-series, which I’ll leave links for below:

Part 1 – Who am I?

Part 2 – Who am I?

Part 3 – Who am I?


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: Email Counselling Series. By Chloe Foster.


Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.


Today I’d like to share a series that Chloe Foster has written about email counselling.

As you can probably tell, email counselling requires a different set of skills, as we are not live with the client in a session.

It is usually asynchronous, and is sent at any point via the client, and the response comes when the therapist has agreed to take time and write back to the client.

The boundaries are different and there are things that happen, such as the disinhibition effect, as well as misunderstandings due to the written nature of the messages, without body language or tone of voice.

In spite of these, email counselling is an important offering that more and more therapists are embracing, with great benefits to their clients.

There are also other platforms like betterhelp and instahelp (I work with them and it’s been great so far!) that provide asyncrhronous and synchronous messaging, as well as audio and video sessions.

Here are the links to Chloe’s series, and here’s also one of mine, where I discuss the variety of online counselling.

Part 1 – What is Email Counselling?

Part 2 – What is the disinhibition effect?

Part 3 – Boundaries in email counselling

Part 4 – Misunderstandings in Email counselling


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: Is online counselling second best? . By Chloe Foster.


Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.


In today’s post, Chloe talks to us about how valuable online counselling can be.

Like Chloe, I believe that online counselling is just as effective as face-to-face counselling, and that it has lots of benefits, which I’ve talked about in my series on online counselling (You can find all of those blogs here).

I’ll let Chloe tell us her experience when working online, and the doors it opens for her practice and her potential and current clients.


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Practical Steps to Blogging – part 2


Hi, and welcome to part 2 of this mini-series on blogging!

Last week and this week I’ll be talking to wellbeing professionals, including coaches, counsellors, psychotherapists, and anyone that looks after the wellbeing of their clients in one way or another.

click on any of the images in this post to go to the workshop page

This week I’ll focus on the scheduling and timing aspects of blogging.


 Here are some top tips on scheduling and getting your writing done:


Make it easy for yourself

As human beings, we like to over-complicate ourselves.

I say simple is better! Review regularly how you’re doing and how your writing is helping or making things more difficult for you, and plan your next writing sessions accordingly.

I’ll talk a bit more about this in the workshops.

Consistency is key!

More than the length and the amount of posts it is all about showing up regularly for your audience!

Figure out what length your posts will have and how often they’ll appear on your feeds, and stick with it.

It’s ok to reassess, I’ve done that so many times I’ve lost track!

Pick your battles

Make sure you give yourself plenty of time writing and plenty of time to look after yourself

Ideal times to do each aspect of our work and personal lives is important.

During the workshops...

I’ll be delving in deeper in to the above aspects.

We’ll also be talking about what else to do with your blog post apart from writing it and posting it.

Plus! You’ll get a chance to ask questions and work together with like-minded colleagues who are starting or continuing their blog writing journey.


Getting your message out there can be fun (I particularly love writing!) and it’s a great way to get yourself known to your colleagues and potential clients.

There’s so much to learn from you. Let’s get that message out!


See you at the workshops!


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Practical Steps to Blogging – part 1


Hi, and welcome to this week’s blog post!

Today and next week I’ll be talking to wellbeing professionals, including coaches, counsellors, psychotherapists, and anyone that looks after the wellbeing of their clients in one way or another.


There are a few reasons for me writing this blog post mini-series now.


1. Blogging revolutionised my practice, and I am eager to teach more people how to blog to revolutionise their practices by following practical, simple steps.

2. I’m presenting a series of workshops via onlinevents.co.uk, which launch with a two-part blogging workshop broken down in two days. If you want to know how to make your blog posts go further, I’ve created with onlinevents a one-day workshop on using Canva and Lumen5 to create images and videos to promote your blogs and keep them alive for longer!

click here or any of the images in this post to go to the workshop page

3. I am a content creator and am now offering that as a service. Now, I don’t write blog posts for people, but I am offering helping out with outlines and other aspects of blogging as part of my Content Creation service.


This week I’ll talk a little bit about what to expect in the workshop, and some tips on how to start blogging. Next week I’ll focus on the scheduling and timing aspects of blogging.


 Here are some top tips to get you going:


Get your head around blogging

As with anything, having the right mindset before starting a task is important.

Don’t worry, your mindset will change as you start. Just get started and things will start making more sense!

Have a “thinking” session

Sitting down and coming up with things you want to write about is always a good idea.

Putting things down on paper will release those ideas into the real world and you will be able to see things more clearly, as you’ve made room in your mind for further thinking about these things.

There are lots more things to consider in a thinking session, but starting out with this will be a good starting point!

Practical aspects

When getting down to the nitty gritty of writing a blog post, considering the why, what, when, where, who and how are important.

Knowing exactly where you stand with your reasoning behind blogging will get you closer to becoming more at ease with writing and getting your message out.

During the workshops…

I’ll be delving in deeper in to the above aspects.

Plus! You’ll get a chance to ask questions and work together with like-minded colleagues who are starting or continuing their blog writing journey.


Getting your message out there can be fun (I particularly love writing!) and it’s a great way to get yourself known to your colleagues and potential clients.

There’s so much to learn from you. Let’s get that message out!


Until next week…


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Blog Post Showcase: Is Online CPD the future? . By Chloe Foster.


Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.


Today I’d like to share a series that Chloe Foster has written about online CPD.

We have both been working online with the onlinevents team, providing training on the topics that we’re both passionate about.

It has been a great experience and amazing especially during these difficult times where going to face-to-face conference has been difficult if not impossible.

In her post, Chloe reflects on her experience as a participant of my online workshop on blogging (there’s a new date coming up in October, so if you’d like to join, click here!) there’s also a part 2 for this course, which will help you promote your blogs even further through using images and video on social media. Click here to read more on that one day workshop).

Have a read about her experience, particularly with my workshop, but also her experience of running workshops both privately and with onlinevents.

At the end of the post, Chloe mentions the workshops she runs and how you can join them.

I am so pleased to read this post and Chloe’s experience with writing since completing my workshop, and hope to be posting more of Chloe’s blogs in the near future!


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: Understanding various ways of working in the therapy Room. Blogs by Dilnia Noori.


Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.


Today I’d like to share a series that Dilnia has created to inform us about the different therapies and how she works in the therapy room.

Creative Therapies

Mindfulness

Psychodynamic Counselling

Person-Centred Counselling

Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy

If you’d like to find out a bit more after reading Dilnia’s posts, you can follow this link to read my how I work pages.


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: Self-care is often a very un-beautiful thing. By Dilnia Noori.


Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.


In today’s post, Dilnia talks to us about self-care and how it can be a bit messy or sometimes boring and mundane.

It depends on what we need to do to help ourselves and give ourselves peace of mind and feel better about our life and ourselves.

Click here to read what Dilnia has to say about self-care and how to go about it.

If you want to read more on self-care, you can also look for my self-care series and my book 20 Self-Care Habits.


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: Three strategies to help us manage and overcome unwanted cravings and urges. By Bradley Riddell


Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.


In today’s post, Bradley gives us three strategies to manage and overcome urges and cravings when fighting an addiction.

These three strategies include the 4Rs, the MIQs and thought labelling.

To find out what these are, click here.


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: Tiger! By Kalpna Hirani.


Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.


In this post, Kalpna discusses the things we might be doing during a crisis or turbo-anxious times as she calls them.

Kalpna gently guides us to what happens when we experience fear or an imminent and present danger.

She talks about how in past times, human reaction to the tiger in front of us had to be quick, in order to survive via fight or flight, or other means.

Now we don’t need that but as we’re the same humans, we are still responding in a similar way, even though the tiger is no longer in front of us about to eat us.

Read Kalpna’s post for tips on what to do when the virtual tiger is in front of you.

Enjoy!


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: Imago Dialogue: couples counselling in a nutshell . By Bradley Riddell


Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.


In Today’s post, Bradley talks to us about the imago dialogue in couples counselling.

I agree with Bradley and have written about it in my Relationship Success series if you want further reading, that communication is important to resolve any issues, be it in couples therapy or when an individual comes to therapy seeking help with their relationship – romantic or otherwise.

Bradley leaves us with some protocols in how to communicate better with your partner, as well as how communication works.

Finally he talks about the Imago Dialogue.

I hope you enjoy this post and share it with the people around you.


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: Tempering A Craving – calming the storm. By Bradley Riddell


Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.


In today’s post, Bradley talks to us about how to temper a craving through a technique he uses with his client to ward of urges when we feel emotionally overwhelmed and how our brain is affected by this overwhelm.

Bradley also encourages his readers to be kind to themselves, and to keep trying and practicing.

Enjoy!


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: Emotional Wellbeing during the CV19 Crisis. By Kalpna Hirani.


Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.


In today’s post, Kalpna talks to us about how we can best look after ourselves during the Covid19 crisis.

As we head into the Autumn and the cold weather hits, we might start seeing an increase in cold or flu symptoms, along with the possibility of catching cv19.

Read this post for some information about how to look after yourself, as well as 25 things you can do during this time, such as writing a journal, keeping in touch with others via video chat sessions, and more.

Enjoy this post that Kalpna has written with a lot of care for her clients and audience.


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: The Ten Pillars For Sex and Porn Addiction. By Bradley Riddell

click the image or any of the highlighted words to access the full blog post.

Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.


In today’s post, Bradley talks to us about ten pillars that can help an individual work through a sex or porn addiction.

He gives the ten points in a bullet point list, but follows it up with a bit of text you can read three times a day until you finish with the ten pillars.

Bradley mentions this should take about ten months to achieve.

This is the thing with therapy, it is not straightforward or a quick fix, especially if you want deep and permanent change within yourself.

I think these affirmations might be helpful to more people than just the people that Bradley aimed this post at originally, maybe with a few modifications, or keeping the topic that’s our issue in mind.

What do you think? Let Bradley know!


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: Hypercapitalism: The Growth Hormone In Addiction . By Bradley Riddell

click the image or any of the highlighted words to access the full blog post.

Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.

In today’s post, Bradley talks to us about how addiction has become globalised.

He also talks about the comparison between addiction and dogmatism, which I found very interesting.

There is a lot to think about in this blog post, which I recommend you have a look at.

If you have any questions, I’m sure Bradley would be happy to answer them for you, or write another blog post about it.


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: Angela Tulloch: Grief and Loss Poetry Part 7


Hello everyone, and welcome to Wednesday’s new ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.

In Today’s post, Angela shares another lovely poem about grief.

Make sure you read part 1, 2 , 3, 4, 5 and 6.


Just one more time


Let me look into your eyes and

Stroke your face.

Let me lay beside you

And whisper softly

Let me take your hands

And kissed them gently

Let me have those moments just one more time.

Let me hear your laugh fill the room

Let silence speaks when two hearts meet.

Let me have those moments one more time.


By Angela Tulloch


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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Blog Post Showcase: The Miracle Question. By Bradley Riddell

click the image or any of the highlighted words to access the full blog post.

Hello everyone, and welcome to this ongoing series, where I’ll be showcasing the blog posts that the graduates of my workshop via onlinevents experiential workshops have written.

In today’s post, Bradley talks to us about the Miracle Question.

This is a therapeutic technique usually attributed to Solution-Focused therapy, which is very useful as it allows the individual to think about their current situation and where they’d rather be, in a very particular and impactful way.

Bradley reminds us to be kind to ourselves as we endeavour to find answers to the miracle question, and find a way to reinvent our lives, starting with our thinking.

There’s a lot of food for thought in Bradley’s post. I hope you enjoy it and leave him some comments!


I’ll be updating these posts as I receive links to colleague’s blog posts. Keep an eye out for these!

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