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About Me

 

Welcome!

Let me tell you a bit about myself…

I was born in Guatemala City, Guatemala, where I lived for the first 25 years of my life. As you can probably tell by my name, it sounds very German! I am the descendant of a German great-grandfather who moved to Guatemala in the early 1900’s. So I have influence of both Latin American and German styles of thinking, feeling and being (you will see what I mean when you meet me and spend some time with me!).

The German/European influence is probably what brought me back to Europe in 2006. I have lived in the South of England, in many towns, doing many jobs, since then.

I am now settled  in Brighton and Hove, which I love – I have access to the countryside, the city, the sea, and a melting pot of cultures and activities. This is where I have started my journey into Counselling Private Practice, as well as delving deeper into my love of languages and teaching – Spanish, English, Psychology, Counselling/Psychotherapy.

I really enjoy everything that I do, and I never do anything or continue doing something that I don’t enjoy and might cause me unhappiness or frustration. Of course I will see it through to the end and complete what I’ve started.

I don’t think I will ever get unhappy or frustrated with Counselling or Teaching, there is always something new to learn from books, training, but more importantly from my clients themselves.

It is such an honour to be allowed into people’s worlds and be there for the realisations – sometimes good, sometimes not so good – about themselves, their upbringing, their experiences, and see lasting change happen – gradually – so they can continue a happier, healthier life, with a more robust approach to challenges and whatever else life might bring.

I hope this allowed you to get to know me a bit better…do contact me if you want to know more or are looking for a Counsellor, Supervisor, Spanish/English Teacher!

 

Relationship Success – Acceptance

Relationship Success – Working on your relationship one step at a time


Welcome to this week’s Relationship Success post.

If you missed the previous posts, you can catch up here:

Working on your relationship one step at a time,

Whose responsibility is it anyway?.


I decided to write this series because I believe in the importance of raising awareness of the aspects of relationships that might help or hinder our ability to communicate and relate in healthy ways with our partners.

Once we are in a space to think about our behaviours, our partners behaviours, and how they impact on one another, we can then start thinking about how to resolve those miscommunications or missed opportunities to make things right.


If you feel you want to discuss this in a session, feel free to book by emailing me or contacting me via this blog’s contact form.


1In today’s blog post, I want to talk about acceptance, and to do so, I am going to start with what I believe to be the basis of acceptance in any relationship: acceptance of ourselves.

In last week’s post, I mentioned that we sent “vibes” to the world, and the ones closest to us pick them up in ‘surround sound, high definition’.

What vibe are we sending?

  1. I accept myself, I respect myself, and therefore I expect you to accept and respect me as well.
  2. I am not sure about myself, I find it difficult to respect myself, so feel free to step all over me as you please.

OK, point B got a bit dramatic, but some of us might actually be thinking like this – or worse!

The vibe will be sent and we will be treated by others in the way that is communicated to them.


This isn’t a life-long sentence. we can change this!


Therapy is a great place to become self-aware and work through the reasons behind you feeling like the person in point B.

Talking about this and understanding why we behave this way or allow people to treat us a certain way, will help us change things internally – the unconscious is very powerful, but not unbeatable!

2

In therapy, we talk about stuff that might have been swept under the carpet, ignored, or avoided (in Freudian terms – repressed or suppressed). By talking about it and working through it – feeling, thinking, understanding and letting go – we will also let go of the negative vibe we are sending, and people will start reacting and treating us differently.

Why?

Because we will have found our self-respect, our self-acceptance.

How?

 Now this is a tricky part to explain and I find it almost magical to see this happen in therapy and then it transfer over to people’s lives.

All I can say is it works!

Setting clear boundaries and meeting our needs is an important learning experience from being in therapy, and I can see the change happen in my clients.

The vibe becomes positive and their relationships in turn also become more positive!


Book Cover

To find out more about how I work to achieve this and more with my clients in their individual therapy sessions, feel free to book by emailing me or contacting me via this blog’s contact form.

You can also have a look at my book on 20 Self-Care Habits, which will allow you to get to know yourself better!

 


Now let’s get into the relationship part of acceptance…


In order to accept others, and most importantly our romantic partners, we must first accept ourselves.

This is the reason I started this post with individual’s acceptance of themselves before even attempting to delve into acceptance in a couple!

Now that we’ve worked on accepting ourselves, we can go about thinking and becoming aware of how we respond to our partner’s personality – positives and flaws.

3

It’s easy to accept the positives, it’s probably the stuff that made us fall for them in the first place!

But what about when we move in together…

when we start seeing their awkward habits or weird things that we had no idea about?

We can take a few routes:

 

 

  1. Tell them to stop being annoying and change to what we want them to be.
  2. Get angry with them and snap at them without clearly communicating what is bothering us.
  3. Let the issue fester and then blow up somewhere down the line.
  4. Accept them for who they are and learn to communicate what we need from them.

As you can probably guess, the only healthy one in those four options is the last one, and it comes with many layers and ways of doing it.

Trying to understand where our partner is coming from is key, as is our partner understanding where we are coming from.


4

As with understanding ourselves as individuals, understanding why our partner is the way he/she is, and behaves the way they do, will help us work through our feelings and thoughts about them and about each situation we find ourselves in with them.

It will allow for compassion and empathy to arise, rather than anger and frustration.

When both parties know the why’s and how’s of their behaviours, then it is easier to communicate these to their partners.

Explanations lead to more understanding, and more understanding leads to a safer environment to be vulnerable and open up about our worries, thoughts and feelings.


I know I feel closer to my partner when we have in-depth conversations about why we do what we do and how we came about particular ways of being.

Deep and meaningful conversations are important. They deepen the bond.

They also deepen appreciation, love, trust, respect and acceptance of one another.


6


I hope you have enjoyed reading this post in the Relationship Success series.

I welcome your feedback, comments and suggestions.

In the next blog post I’ll talk a bit more about communication and compromise.


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What to expect from supervision – Autonomous Practice

new supervision blog post banner


As therapists, it is vital that we have a good support system in place for our professional and confidential work.

Personal therapy is one way in which we can get this support. Supervision is another, and it will be the focus of these posts.

In the next few months, I will talk a bit about 18 ways in which we should expect supervision to work for us.


Missed my previous posts?

Catch up here: Containment and Holding, and Reflective Practice


I will discuss 18 things we should expect from our supervisory relationship in order to be accountable and working to a professional standard, for the sake of our practice, our profession, and most importantly, for the sake of our clients.


Click here to visit my main supervision page.

Click here to visit my main supervision page.

Are you starting out in private practice?

Are you an experienced therapist looking for a new supervisory relationship?

To book supervision with me, do get in touch and I’ll be happy to set up an initial meeting.

 


In this post, I want to talk about developing an autonomous practice as therapists gain more experience, and how this evolves in the supervision setting.


1Do you remember – or are you there now – the first few client sessions, and how terrifying it felt? Am sure your first sessions went better than you remember or expected them to go.

It is not unusual to get “impostor syndrome” – that feeling that we are doing a job that we are really not qualified to do; or we feel we are not good enough to be helping someone with their deepest, darkest, most difficult struggles.

But the fact is, we have worked hard in getting the training we need to be able to do this job we call therapy. So we are not impostors, we are well equipped to do the job.


Supervision is a place where we can build this confidence, and move away from feeling like an “impostor” to feeling confident and capable of helping people in their time of distress.

When we first start off in our placements, we need a lot of support from our supervisor.

2We might be focusing in sessions on how to keep ourselves grounded, even in light of very distressing emotions and conversations. This might take all our energy at first.

Our supervisor’s job here will be to contain and hold us, helping us think about what is going on for us in sessions, and guiding us in what might be the best intervention for this particular client.

In due course, we will start to “let go” of our supervisors hand a bit more, trusting ourselves more and more as we see more clients and get more experience.

Slowly, we are becoming more confident and secure in who we are becoming as therapists. Developing our own identity as professionals.

We don’t need our supervisor to tell us what interventions to use or when.

We might now need to start thinking more about why we chose certain interventions and what effect this has had in the therapeutic relationship and the client.

3

Reflective practice deepens and autonomy is emerging.

The supervisory relationship must change accordingly in order for autonomy to further develop.


Move forward a few years, you are now in private practice.

What you need now looks very different to what you needed during those first sessions.

A more collegiate, collaborative relationship forms with your supervisor.


You might need a new supervisor to break that link from trainee to fully qualified, or your supervisor might just get it and you stay with them (I speak from experience!)


A more collegiate relationship means that your supervisor is in a position to still contain and hold when needed, but will most likely challenge you a bit more in regards to critical thinking and reflecting about your work, how you are keeping yourself up to date with CPD and other training, as well as how you are keeping safe in regards to ethics and professional boundaries with clients.

4Of course, all of these should also happen when we start in placement, but these become more obvious as we let go of depending 90-100% on our supervisor for support with interventions and the basics, to depending more on our knowledge and experience and using the supervision space for more in-depth work.

Autonomy develops further when we feel confident in our work but still rely on an objective observer’s – our supervisor’s – outlook on what we are communicating about our client sessions and what this brings up in us.

We are still human, we still “miss” the nuances due to being “in” the therapeutic relationship with our client, and the keen eye of a supervisor is great for clearing up blind spots or clarifying aspects of the relationship with the client that will help us as therapists and therefore help our clients.


5Follow this link for a video describing this process.

Feel free to share it with your colleagues, supervisees, supervisors and others.


The more we talk about what supervision should be about, what it should cover, and how it should support therapists in their private practice, the better equipped we all will be, and we will provide the a better service to our clients!


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Join 4,345 other followers

Relationship Success – Whose responsibility is it anyway?

Relationship Success – Working on your relationship one step at a time


Welcome to this week’s Relationship Success post.

If you missed last week’s post you can read it here.

This series is aimed at romantic relationships, but as I’ve seen in the therapy room, the materials and topics I talk about with my couples apply as well to clients who come to see me individually.

We are, after all, relational beings, and many issues that come up in any relationship will be similar to those in a romantic relationship, in one way or another…

…or the issues might just relate to the fact that there are two different people, with different backgrounds and ideas about many things, that are living or in close proximity to each other.

It’s normal. It happens. It means we are human! 


If you feel you want to discuss this in a session, feel free to book by emailing me or contacting me via this blog’s contact form.


1In this post I’d like to talk about communication, and one of its most important pillars, in my opinion – taking responsibility.

It might seem straight forward, but as the title implies, we are sometimes quick to blame someone else, or quick to take the blame for someone else.

Both are detrimental to our selves and our relationships.

 


I see many relationships suffer due to a breakdown in communication.

I’ve seen it in some of my own relationships, which is why I strive to ask questions and clarify what I meant as much as possible.

Doing this, allows me to connect with the person and to gain a better understanding of them and in turn they gain a better understanding of myself, and any confusion, misunderstanding or animosity can be cleared and life can continue.

Easier said than done, and sometimes the relationship needs to end for one reason or another.

Before it gets to that point, there are things we can all do in our relationships to bridge the communication gap and regain that lovely relationship we started out with.


2One thing that I believe is true, and is important to take note of is that we usually end up hurting those that are closest to us. Especially those we live with.

Being aware of the fact that we are prone to snapping or blaming our romantic partners is important, as it might help us stop and take a breath instead of short-circuiting into snap-or-blame games.

Taking time to stop and think is the best thing you can do for yourself and your relationship.


In two words: Take Responsibility.


Stress, anger and other strong emotions need to be processed, but if we can help it, we can work through them without letting them grow into overwhelming monsters that will only hurt us and our partner.

The physical effects of these strong emotions are not good for our physical health, and over-thinking something that could be resolved by asking a question like “wait, what did you actually mean by that?” is detrimental to our mental health.

Asking awkward and uncomfortable questions might be difficult for us – pride or the need to be right and not lose face might prevent us from asking them – but it might be the best thing we can do for the benefit of our relationship. 


Book CoverFor support with your other relationships (non-romantic ones) do have a look at my new book, where I give you tips and advice on how to improve your life and relationships by following 20 self-care habits, with an underlying theme of setting clear and healthy boundaries and learning to meet your own needs. Of course, there’s more to it than that, so pick up the book and find out how your life and relationships can improve!

 


3Increased communication and self-awareness – asking those awkward questions or saying those things that put us in a vulnerable position – might be key to growing and improving our relationships.

Getting our feelings “out” rather than keeping them “in” are only going to be beneficial, even if it’s not obvious right now.

The better we feel in our relationship and how we work through arising issues and situations, the better we will feel about ourselves.


It is all about balance. 


The better we feel about ourselves, in turn, will also allow us to voice our feelings and needs more clearly. We will respect ourselves, we will honour ourselves and our feelings.

This is “catchy” and when people see how we respect and honour ourselves, they will fall in line and act accordingly.

I call it that “vibe” we sent out.

I see it all the time – someone comes to therapy, realises an aspect of themselves they’ve been neglecting; they start thinking differently about themselves, and things start to change in their environment and relationships.

The vibe has changed.


4Earlier in this post I mentioned asking awkward questions and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in order to deepen communication and understand each other better.

I also mentioned taking responsibility as a means to improve communication and our relationship.

Here are some ways in which we can take responsibility and help our partner do the same:


  • I am responsible for my own happiness, not my partner.
  • My partner is responsible for his/her own happiness, not me.

In a given situation,

  • What part have I played?
  • What part has my partner played?
  • What was my reaction to it and how can I take back responsibility for my reaction rather than placing it on my partner?
  • What was my partner’s reaction to it and how can I disengage from taking responsibility for his/her reaction?

In an aim to resolve this situation,

  • I need to be assertive and say how a comment or behaviour made me feel – using “I felt” statements rather than “you made me feel”.  – Ask the awkward questions, allow vulnerability.
  • I need to hear an explanation, an apology, or just feel understood by my partner.
  • I need to own what I said or how I behaved and explain or apologise accordingly.
  • Do we both need a time-out before carrying on with the conversation? – 20 minutes is how long the body takes to regroup.

Links to the past:

  • In an attempt to understand myself and my partner better, it’s important to know whether there’s a link to a situation from their/my upbringing that leads me/them to react so strongly to particular comments or behaviours.

As you can see, it’s all about give then take, and take then give, or both happening simultaneously!

Remember: Both parties have responsibility in keeping the relationship healthy and making it grow.


I hope you have enjoyed reading this first post in the Relationship Success series.

I welcome your feedback, comments and suggestions.

In the next blog post I’ll talk a bit more about communication, compromise and acceptance.


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What to expect from supervision – Containment and Holding

new supervision blog post banner


As therapists, it is vital that we have a good support system in place for our professional and confidential work.

Personal therapy is one way in which we can get this support. Supervision is another, and it will be the focus of these posts.

In the next few months, I will talk a bit about 18 ways in which we should expect supervision to work for us.

I will discuss 18 things we should expect from our supervisory relationship in order to be accountable and working to a professional standard, for the sake of our practice, our profession, and most importantly, for the sake of our clients.


In this post, I want to talk about Containment and Holding in the supervision setting.


Disclaimer!


1


Containment and Holding are usually linked more to the therapy process. In this context, it means that the therapist is there to support the client through difficult emotions, feelings and situations.

Staying calm, strong and professional amongst their client’s storm is key for the therapist, as this will help the client explore his/her issues without worrying about falling apart — the therapist is there to help.

The way the therapist helps might vary – the therapist might fill in gaps by providing information about how they feel when the client tells their story, or ask questions about how the client feels in that moment (it all depends on the therapist’s modality); or the therapist might allow some silence to process the things that are coming up for their client.

Another way might be the therapist, who might see the problem more clearly as an outsider to it, is able to provide deeper understanding of the situation for the client, allowing space to process and develop a new way of thinking about it all. This takes time of course.

In a similar way, the therapist will need containment and holding in their supervision session.

Why is that?


2


Dealing with strong emotions and difficult situations that our clients bring, can take it’s toll or at least have a small impact on the therapist’s life.

Therefore, the therapist needs a safe space to go through a smilar “parallel” process, to regroup, re-energise and gain some further perspective on what happened in the session, what went on for the client and what went on for the therapist themselves.

This is important as it will help pin-point “blind spots” in the relationship with this client, or simply allow for space to process their own emotions and thoughts about this client, which leads to the therapist being able to better help the client in the next session.

Supervision is so important in this respect.

I find that sharing the emotional and psychological load is sometimes enough, especially after a particularly difficult session.

I find that when my supervisor listens to me, I feel contained and held by them, and able to have “a moment” while I regroup and while we work together into making sense of what went on for everyone in the session.

This “moment” remains in the supervision session, but it is important to process it in order to be able to be present, calm, strong and professional with our clients in their time of need.


3


Follow this link for a video describing this process.

Feel free to share it with your colleagues, supervisees, supervisors and others.


The more we talk about what supervision should be about, what it should cover, and how it should support therapists in their private practice, the better equipped we all will be, and we will provide the a better service to our clients!


Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 4,345 other followers

Relationship Success – Working on your relationship one step at a time

Relationship Success – Working on your relationship one step at a time


Welcome to the first post of my new series on couples and relationships.

I have at least 4 months of topics so far, and I’m sure it will extend further, so look out for weekly posts every Monday at 12pm.

Do let me know if there’s anything in particular you are curious about or want to work on in your relationship.


If you feel you want to discuss this in a session, feel free to book by emailing me or contacting me via this blog’s contact form.


1

I believe this series will help both couples looking for support with their relationships, but also individuals looking for ideas to improve their relationships.

I say this because I’ve seen both couples and individuals in therapy, and the materials and information I use for couples also applies for individuals that come to therapy for reasons that are sometimes related to relationship issues in one way or another.

Humans are relational beings after all, and at one point or another we will encounter issues in our romantic relationships, as well as in our friendships and family relationships.

Although this blog series will focus on romantic relationships, some of the things I talk about here will also apply to friendships and other relationships you might be struggling with or curious about improving.


Book Cover

For support with your other relationships (non-romantic ones) do have a look at my new book, where I give you tips and advice on how to improve your life and relationships by following 20 self-care habits, with an underlying theme of setting clear and healthy boundaries and learning to meet your own needs. Of course, there’s more to it than that, so pick up the book and find out how your life and relationships can improve!


Now, back to the series at hand…


2

I have many reasons for wanting to write this blog series.

I like to write about things I’m familiar with and speak from personal or professional experience.

Raising awareness and encouraging reflection and thinking about your romantic relationship in a way that will make it more fulfilling and happier is one main reason for writing about this now.

Having said that, this blog should not be a substitute for couples’ therapy.

It is a conversation starter, a way of starting the journey of finding new ways of improving – or in some cases rescuing – your relationship, and all of the things I will talk about are topics I work on in therapy with my clients.


3

In my practice, I’ve seen how, after one or two sessions (it varies, it might take more!), the awareness of what each individual does in the relationship is raised and this alone brings effective and amazing change to the relationship.

Sometimes, I will ask a question that will trigger a whole lot of memories or issues.

Although it might feel awful to be opening these issues up, it’s important to look at them for long enough to get an understanding of what’s going on for the couple – and each member of the couple – in order to provide solutions, plans to move forward rather than stay stuck in fight mode.

Talking about the same thing in the same way is not going to provide a different solution. Arguing in sessions is not something I encourage. A glimpse is enough to know how to help the couple move forward.


4It‘s important to raise awareness of communication “glitches” and room for improvement through practising new ways of communicating about the same things.

Understanding each other is a major learning item in couples’ therapies, in my opinion.

This understanding might have dwindled or faded away through each argument, which has brought the couple to this point in their lives.

Learning how to communicate and clarify these misunderstandings is important to regain the feeling of love, compassion, wanting to talk and spend time with your partner.

Sometimes there needs to be someone else in the room with the couple, to break the cycle they’ve got themselves into. A therapist might be key in this regard.


5As you can see, there’s going to be a thread to these posts and it is all about clear communication and becoming aware of your own and your partner’s ways of communicating, understanding and possibly also their expectations of the relationship.

Once these are clear – or clearer – the relationship can move forward. An in fact with every step the couple takes towards improving their communication with each other, and  their understanding of each other, there will be changes and improvements in their everyday lives.


I hope you have enjoyed reading this first post in the Relationship Success series.

I welcome your feedback, comments and suggestions.

In the next blog post I’ll talk a bit more about communication, as well as a couple of other pillars that are important in a relationship – compromise, acceptance and taking responsibility.


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What to expect from supervision – space for reflective practice

new supervision blog post banner


As therapists, it is vital that we have a good support system in place for our professional and confidential work.

Personal therapy is one way in which we can get this support. Supervision is another, and it will be the focus of these posts.

In the next few months, I will talk a bit about 18 ways in which we should expect supervision to work for us.

1

I will discuss 18 things we should expect from our supervisory relationship in order to be accountable and working to a professional standard, for the sake of our practice, our profession, and most importantly, for the sake of our clients.


 

In this post, I want to talk about Reflective practice.


Gibbs reflective cycle theory is a great theory to break down your thinking and reflecting process down into manageable steps.

Your supervisor should be able to help you with this.

 


2

Here are the steps and how to make the most out of each one


  1. How did the situation make you feel?
    • Reflecting on what emotions the situation with your client brought up for you is important to process and work through them, so you can continue working and offering your client the best therapy service possible.
  2. What did the situation make you think about?
    • Reflecting on the situation with your client will also allow you to think about future situations and how you will handle them if anything similar were to arise again.
    • 3It might also make you think about gaps in knowledge which you can remedy by reading, or attending webinars or seminars on the topic.
  3. Can you see the positives among the negatives?
    • Every situation has positives, and hopefully this one does as well. Weighing the positives amongst the negatives will allow you to grow through the difficulties that present themselves when working as a therapist, and will therefore help you build resilience and confidence with a wider variety of issues.
  4. Reflect on what you got out of the three steps above: are things clearer now?
        • What can you see now that wasn’t obvious before you processed your thoughts and feelings on the situation and your client?4

       

    1. is there anything you could have done differently?
      • this is a “devil’s advocate” question that sometimes grates on me. So if it grated on you, you’re in good company!
      • Sometimes there is absolutely nothing we could have done differently.
      • But at the time what we did might not be the worst thing we could have done. It is what we had available to do at the time, and it was good enough, especially if it didn’t harm the client or the relationship in any way.
      • You can always go back and talk to the client about what happened, and try offering a solution the next time around. The great thing about therapy is we don’t have to have all the solutions, both you and your client need to dig deep into the client’s resources and find them together.
    2. what else could you have done?5
      • Hopefully from your reflections, you can now confidently answer this question, and you are taking steps to fill any gaps in knowledge that might have become aparent. You don’t have to know everything, nobody does!
    3. what will you do next time?
      • Lots of tools and skills should have been developed or at least you would have been made aware of how to use them for the next session with this client and for future sessions with other clients.

 

 


6

Follow this link for a video describing this process.

Feel free to share it with your colleagues, supervisees, supervisors and others.


The more we talk about what supervision should be about, what it should cover, and how it should support therapists in their private practice, the better equipped we all will be, and we will provide the a better service to our clients!


Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 4,345 other followers

20 Self-Care Habits – Book Review #5 ***Book Out 31st July *** Bonus Video -A word from the author in this post!

20 self care habits pinterest

Click here to visit my website – read more reviews, download freebies, and more!

This book is exactly what it says it is, different ways to integrate self-care into your daily life. It starts off with an overview of why the author is writing about self-care, giving us an insight into her life.

Some introductions can be patronising but this was not at all, there was no judgment, and Karin suggests that you know yourself best. The book covers 20 different self-care activities ranging from the usual spending time in nature and putting yourself first, to ones we might not find obvious, such as personal space.

I liked that each topic starts with a quote that ties nicely into the chapter and the author uses her own personal experiences to explain each habit, this makes the book feel like your speaking with a friend. The examples are easily relatable, for instance, in putting your needs first chapter, the example of lending a friend money, makes its easier to see how important your needs are when put in to a perceptible example of money.

The lay out of each chapter follows the same format, and this is something I particularly like a lot! The bullet points of how your life can improve with each habit are clear and concise, making it easy to digest.

22I especially liked the reflection time section at the end of each chapter, it’s almost like they’ve reached out a hand and brought you in to the book. It gives you questions to help you reflect on your own personal circumstances and how each habit impacts your own life, as well as prompting you to make changes to improve your own self-care.

Whilst I would not normally read an eBook, the layout of this book was so easy to navigate and read on my phone.

I like the idea of the printable reminders and planners, which are a brilliant addition to this book!

Self-care is over looked so much and isn’t something I ever thought about until I started my training as a counsellor. This book makes it so easy to see the little ways in which you can look after yourself without too much effort. I would recommend this book to fellow counsellors, students, clients and family members.

Overall, if you’re looking for a proactive book to help work on your self care then this is the book for you!

C.L.


BONUS VIDEO – A WORD FROM THE AUTHOR – KARIN BRAUNER


20 Self-Care Habits – Book Review #4 ***Preorder today! *** Bonus video in this post!

20 self care habits instagram20 habits of self-care is a practical and insightful tool for anyone who wants to make self-care a priority.

The overall message is much the same as other self care books however it is original in the reflection aspect. The think, feel and act sections are good prompts for anyone new to reflection in this sense.

I would say the book is aimed at beginners in self-care, and it is a great place to start. It could be all that a ‘newbie’ to self-care requires. As someone who has been reading other self-care books and undertaking reflections for over 3 years. A lot of the features were what I have already been introduced to. That being said, the think, feel and act sections did draw my attention to specific areas of reflection that I had not thought of in detail before.

These sections at the end of each chapter have echoes of what a therapist would prompt you to think about, which is understandable as the author is a counsellor. I do believe that the book being written by a counsellor who has experience on both sides of self-care, witnessing others struggles with the subject, has given Karin more insight into the needs of other people regarding self-care.

1Many other books are written with the author’s experiences and could potentially not have the same wide area of reflection to prompt. The fact that Karin clearly labels each part of the reflection into ‘think’ ‘feel’ and ‘act’ means that a reader can choose which parts of the reflection works best for them and skip to those bits.

The whole book is written with careful words and is laid out in such a way it would not scare off those who class themselves as not being readers. Other books can take a while to get to the point of the chapter whereas this book is precise.

My overall feelings on the book are that firstly I would recommend it to anyone who is new to self-care as a starting platform. In addition, with the reflection aspect it is original and for a new person to the self-care ideaology could replace the need for a therapist.

This could be hugely beneficial to someone who could not afford counselling.

On this note, It would be a good book for mental health teams, and NHS counsellors (who only offer 6 sessions) to recommend to people so they can learn to take care of themselves. The impact of this book, if recommended like this could be substantial.

J.T.


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20 Self-Care Habits – Book Review #3 ***Preorder your copy today! *** bonus video in this post!

20 self care habits instagram20 Habits of Self Care is exactly what it says on the cover  – a book about self care habits and I absolutely loved it.  Once I started reading it I couldn’t put it down, not just because it was so interesting but also because of how easy it was to read.

After introducing us to the subject of self care and why it is so important, the author begins each chapter with a quote related to the topic being discussed which immediately got me thinking about the subject and how it relates to my own life.  The friendly, natural writing style enabled me to really reflect on how each self care tip already does, or could, improve my life and the personal experiences she shares throughout the book also helped with this.

Each chapter relates to a different self care practice, all of which could be easily incorporated into even the busiest of people’s lives because of their simplicity.  What I really enjoyed is that the author doesn’t just introduce us to the concepts of self care practices but also makes suggestions about how, by using these practices every day, we can experience improvements in both our lives and our relationships.  She allows us to think about the importance of putting our own needs in front of those of others and reminds us that saying no isn’t a bad thing.

The reflective exercises at the end of each chapter provided me a fantastic opportunity to really sit and think about how when I haven’t put my own needs first it has negatively impacted on my self esteem or feelings of self worth and how differently things could have been if I had.  Including these exercises meant that I didn’t just rush onto the next chapter and by slowing the reading process down in this way it felt like the author was already encouraging me to slow down the pace I normally live my life.

As mentioned previously the author’s personal reflections really helped me really reflect on the importance of self care, but not only that they also made the whole idea of self care more relatable to everyday life.

Whether you are new to the idea of self care or an old hand, this book is a light, easy read which flows seamlessly from chapter to chapter.  Having already noticed the changes it has made to my life since reading it I highly recommend it.

M. C.


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20 Self-Care Habits – Book Review #2 ***Pre-order now! *** bonus video in this post!

20 self care habits instagram

Click here to find out more and preorder your copy!

In the opening chapters, ’20 Habits of Self Care’ makes a bold claim that by implementing some of the activities from the book into our lives, we can expect to lead an improved life. I was sceptical of this claim at first but by the time I had reached the end of the book I could see how by implementing some of the activities and ideas that most resonated with me, I  could expect to see an increase in my mental wellbeing.

Often when we think of self-care, we think of treating ourselves; whether that be to something nice to eat or time doing an activity we enjoy.  Whilst this can fulfil part of our individual self-care needs, the self-care habits in this book go deeper than this and are about shaping our overall wellbeing rather than a quick pick-me-up. The ‘habits’ are ideas that can be implemented into one’s life and therefore become the everyday rather than a special treat.

One idea that resonated with me personally was the concept of personal space in relation to technology.

Technology and personal space are not something I have put together before and this has encouraged me to have some downtime from my mobile phone.  Perhaps I will have my time away from technology whilst spending time in nature, really focusing on my surroundings rather than hiking through a park with my headphones on thinking that I have ‘done’ nature for the day.

There is a running theme throughout of improving self-esteem and I would say that this book is ideal for someone who is looking to boost their mental wellbeing and/ or self-

esteem.  If you are someone that is suffering from depression, implementing some of the activities in this book may well be very useful for you but self-care may begin with fulfilling basic needs such as looking after health and hygiene. In that case, this book may be the next step.

This book appears to be written from Karin’s own journey of self-care.  A lot of examples are written from her own personal experience which gives credibility and integrity to the ideas that are

discussed.  I particularly liked the practical nature to this book.  It’s concise but has many ideas for personal reflection (making it personal to each reader) and practical ideas on how to implement some of habits into your life.  Rather than being a theoretical book that is read and then stays on the shelf, I can see how the activities and ideas could become part of the everyday for both myself and my clients.

C. B.


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