….that word that most of us cringe at or just simply dislike because it means making adjustments that we might not have been ready for.
It might also mean being uncomfortable for a while until we get used to the new environment and everything change brings with it.
It’s ok to feel afraid, uneasy or just angry that changes happen in life.
Some changes come suddenly – an accident, for example – whilst with others we might be able to see them coming and prepare for them – moving to a different job or country in a few months’ time
The way we deal with change might give us some insight into our past – remote or more recent.
Our parents might have been change averse and taught us that change is bad and scary and to avoid it as much as we can, or they might have embraced change and taught us that it’s ok and even important to acknowledge that we are going through changes constantly in life.
Whichever side we are on, we will react in a similar way to the models we had in the past.
If we are unhappy with how change makes us feel and want to face it in a more positive way, or just a different way altogether, there are ways to achieve this.
It will mean more change is on the way though – change your mindset, change your thought process when things don’t go as they should or need adjusting, change the way you interact with certain people and in certain situations.
Change brings change.
Some ways our lives can change include events such as:
- Loss of health
- Death of a loved one
- Starting on your first job, Change of job, loss of job
- Starting your own business
- Marriage or Divorce
- Having children or deciding not to have children
- Moving to a new house or country
- Leaving school
- Going to University
- The list goes on…
Now, as much as we would like to get rid of change or pretend that it isn’t happening, it will keep creeping up on us, or remain a burden until we deal with it.
Change might also lead us to make decisions that we would otherwise have ignored or not made. Some other times change is inevitable and we must face it head on or it might do us more harm than good.
I leave you with a few tips on how to work through change.
If you have any more suggestions, leave me a message and I will add them to the list.
- Stop and give yourself time to take in what is changing.
- Give yourself time to understand what is going on.
- Give yourself time to work through all the feelings and thoughts that are coming up because of the change.
- Make a plan about how you are going to face this change and move forward with life.
- Break the situation down into smaller steps that are more manageable and will get you to embrace the change and have an easier time working through everything the change brings with it.
- Honour your feelings, however difficult they are. Working through them will help you move forward.
- Remind yourself that this is temporary. It will pass and you will learn and grow from it.
- Trust your gut feelings about what to do about each situation that brings change to your life.
- Take responsibility for your part in the change/problem/opportunity.
- Reassess your priorities, how you do things and how you want to live life.
I believe that after every life changing situation we go through, we can either grow from or get stuck in it. Both will mean we change as individuals. It is up to us to decide whether it’s positive change or if we remain stuck.
Choice and change go hand in hand.
Sometimes one comes before the other, the change we choose is nicer for us – choosing what life changes we make gives us control and encourages us to work towards our goals.
Other times change becomes something we can’t control but that at the same time can bring good things to us, maybe not immediately but eventually. It all depends on how we work through each situation.
Have you got any life situations that you might be struggling with that you want to talk through in a therapeutic environment – online or face to face?
Leave me a message and we can schedule a session.